Dear Samantha Brown,

I hate you. Maybe a better expression is I despise you. You continually mock me by cavorting around destinations I can only dream around. Hopping around from continent to continent like some pumped up bunny, staying in plush hotels, drinking fine wine, wandering around from city to city. This is damaging to me and my emotional health. I find myself becoming more and more irritated by your peppy demeanor, your curious nature, your silly mannerisms. Yes, I am extremely jealous. Okay? I've stopped watching your shows. Weekends in wherever, Passport to Europe, South America. I've had it! I will no longer torture myself in watching you parade around places I can only wonder about and explore in fantasies.

Signed unfanfully,
Char

PS. I don't really hate or despise you. This is all in sarcasm, but I have stopped watching your shows. I just can't take it anymore. Sorry.