The Luck of the Mexican....

It's St. Patty's Day, but I'm not Irish. Still wearing the green, and I figure I'll listen to U2 just for shits and giggles. And because they're Irish. Anyway, to all you who are celebrating this green day, Happy St. Patrick's Day.

Now onto the real blog business...writing about my life. I'm moving to San Antonio, Texas. Yeah, I know, I'm a Cali girl at heart, but my love is there, and I want to be with him. I've already started packing, and I reserved my moving trailer. I never realized how pricey it is to move to a different state, but I want my stuff, and hey, I think it's all worth it. I'm leaving here the 21st of April. I feel nervous, anxious, excited, and hopeful all at the same time.

I plan on turning in my letter of resignation for work first thing tomorrow morning. Granted, everyone knows I'm leaving, but it just makes things that much closer than before.

So now I really have to keep up with my blog since I won't get a chance to hang out with family anymore, this way it'll help keep me in touch, or at least let them read how I'm feeling and what's going on in my little slice of life. All I can do is close my eyes and think, "Wow, I'm a lucky girl."

Just some rambling....

How strange is it that we say we're feeling under the weather when we aren't feeling well at all? I'm sick, but I can't really tell you that I'm feeling under the weather because it happens to be a beautiful day. The sun is shining, I'm hearing the birds sing, everything's bright and crisp. Me, not so much. The great thing about being sick though is I finally get a chance to catch up on some reading and writing. Hence the blog entry.

And I also caught a movie this morning, The Jane Austen Book Club. Granted I've seen this movie about three or four times, but I do really enjoy it. It makes me want to read through my Austen collection and start my own reading group. Which if I did, it wouldn't be limited to just reading some Jane. I like to vary things up a little. My only problem is none of my friends are readers. Or if they do read it takes them months to finish a book. And I'm finding myself to be less of a voracious reader. Something I have to remedy. I need to get myself back on track, back on some sort of schedule.

Anyway, it's said that the French have multiple words for scarves, the same way that Eskimos have various words for snow. Why don't we have a smorgasboard of words for love? There are various ways to love a person. A mother's love, family love, romantic love, friendship. Do you see where I'm headed with this? I mean, love is a very complicated thing to just generalize it all into one word. And love comes in various degrees, there's an intense love, a free love, a comforting love. One would think with all of the vast array of words in the English language there would be more words to describe the many different ways to love. Hmm. I don't know, this is all the curious ramblings of someone who isn't in the perfect frame of health right now. I'm tired, achy, and ready to drink some hot tea and maybe take a nap with a blanket scented with her boyfriend's cologne. I miss him. And there is no word that quite describes how I feel now. Maybe that's it, we are just unable to put in words the intense emotions we experience.

The scent of nostalgia is mimosas....

I've always believed myself to be lucky in the fact that my childhood was close to perfection. Of course there were hard times, but now that I'm 30 and look back on it, it's as if my life until I was around 12 or 13 was covered with a thin layer of honey, sweet and golden hued. Today I cannot stop thinking of the mimosa tree in the front yard of the house I lived at when I was a kid.

My favorite tree, I remember summer vacations, being outside all day and evenings in June with the strong scent of mimosas. The blossoms so soft, I would always put them to my face and immediately make a crown for my head. Unfortunately the flowers wilted quickly, so my mimosa crown never lasted long. That tree was always the safe tree for Tag, Hide and Seek or whatever silly game was made up. Sitting in the grass, backs against the trunk talking to childhood friends about nothing and everything. Life was open and ripe with possibilities. God, I miss that.

I drove by that house not too long ago and discovered they tore out the mimosa tree. There is nothing there, no sign of it, the grass even and green and the yard bare. It's almost like that tree never existed, and seeing that filled me with a mixture of sadness and nostalgia so intense, that I'm still a bit mystified about it.

Back in the Swing of Things....

Not exactly. I certainly feel like I'm in a flux, everything is in motion around me, but I'm quite calm. Maybe I'm just in the eye of the storm, but even though the air is in a constant swirl around me, I feel a stillness in my heart, and I'm content with that.

The home life has changed, no longer just me and my sister. I have more responsibilities. I'm okay with it, I've done it before, I'm doing it again. Work is laying off 300 people, and I'm not even phased. If I lose my job then I do, and obviously have to go a different route in life. The funny thing is I feel no stress about the whole job situation. I have this inner knowledge that everything is going to be ok and just to remember to take life as it comes with it's strange beauty.

And of course how can I forget - I'm in love. This one gets me. Everything I've ever believed about relationships has been challenged. And what's even funnier is I'm amused by my past notions. And it's all happening so quickly, and yet I feel as if I'm watching it all unfold in slow motion. I don't want to wake from this dream.

I'm in love....

And he's beautiful, wonderful, and makes me unbelievably happy. My two week road trip changed my life, and I'm so thankful for it.

Less than two weeks...

For my road trip. Thanks to www.roadsideamerica.com for all the offbeat diversions I'll be sure to make. No, I will not be taking my car, and no I don't usually drive with an empty tank. Be happy to know that my gas tank is full and my windshield not so spotty. What can I say? It was raining when I took this picture.

It puts the lotion in the basket...

My newest mission of late is to take care of my hands. I see a difference now that I'm getting older. They're a lot drier, and this cold foggy weather isn't helping. I like the fact that a lot of people say I don't look my age, and now that I'm in my 30's, I don't want my hands giving me away. It's also the most prominent memory of my grandma that I have, she had the softest hands. Her skin was unbelievable. Anyway, my sister gave me a kit from Mary Kay called Satin Hands. Let me just say that if you want softer hands, buy this. I felt a notable difference immediately. Yes, the vanity is oozing, but hey, what's wrong with not wanting chapped man hands? Take care of what you have.

Thirteen more days until my trip. I'm so excited, I can't think about anything else.

Listening: Arcade Fire - "Keep the Car Running"
Reading: Freakonomics - Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner